Does 'Papa' know everything?

'My Papa knows everything'.

This is generally what most kids generally tend to believe (well, atleast in their formative years), before they are 9-10.

Before I proceed any further, I'd like you to go through this wonderful, insightful post by the extremely readable Prem Panicker.

Many a time, when we think of a more gender-equitable society, we think of simply ensuring that our women are not raped, looted or abused.
Well, it's like, if I am not a thief, it means I am a good man.
Sorry. Not necessarily.

If I am not a thief, all it means is that I am not a thief. Period.
To be a good man, I need to do many other things that a good person should do.

On the same lines, if we'd like to see a more equitable society that's respectful to our womenfolk (and that too, is also a critical benchmark that any truly 'developed' society/country must pass), even stopping all physical assaults against them does not suffice.

It means only physical assaults have stopped (though that too, seems a far cry away, as of now).
To be truly developed, sane and caring towards the respect and care our women need, they should also be cared for, and respected accordingly.

No demeaning language, no condescending attitude, no trivialisation - that's as important as anything else.
Let's strive to achieve this too, apart from just the physical security.

Till the time we make our women secure, confident and honored (both physically as well as emotionally), Papa will not know everything.

Once Upon A Time In Mumbai Dobara

No, this post is not a film review, (lest you get deluded by this post's headline) about the movie that goes by the same name.
Actually, this is not just for the second time ('Dobara'), but for the umpteenth time that such a terrible incident has happened in Mumbai.

Not just in Mumbai, but also in Mumbai, apart from every other major or minor city that you can think of.

Incidents like these bring to the fore, the sad and chilling reality that for all the howling, protests, legislation after the December 16 case, nothing, absolutely nothing has changed.

I had written earlier in the year, when the Nirbhaya case had seemed to be a watershed moment in generating mass indignation and mobilizing a public movement - not just in Delhi, but throughout the country and even overseas.

I wrote last month about the trials, tribulations and trauma that rape victims (and even her family) go through, that might not be possible for anyone else to completely comprehend.

And I write today again, on much the same topic, with much the same sadness, wrench, angst, and anguish.

What then, is it that you and me - the proverbial and much-abused (pun intended) mango people - can do, in such times?

Only one thing, in my humble opinion: Let's simply take care of our conduct towards anyone we meet (and women in particular).

Let's just ensure that the conduct of anyone too that we see - in our family, among our relatives, in our offices, on the roads, in the metros - in short, anywhere and everywhere we are, watching/witnessing people interacting with each other, remains above-board and impeccable.

If each one of us is respectful towards our womenfolk, and vigilant against any miscreants, our society shall be a better place to live in.

That's my only appeal/request/wish - manliness is not in dishonoring a lady by force, deceit and physical power.

Manliness is in making sure our women look up to the men around them, and walk/talk freely, secure in the knowledge that they are comfortable and respected in the midst of real (gentle)men.


  

R.A.P.E.: Repeated At Police (Stations) and Elsewhere

Before anything else, first and foremost, I'd like to say just this:
Ms. Suzette Jordan, Ms. Bilkis Bano, Ms. Santasree Chaudhari (and all such ladies): RESPECT!!

When the much-publicised (and now-forgotten) December 16 case had made news, I had written earlier this year about the state-of-affairs in our country and how things have remained pretty much the same even thereafter.

Well, turns out, things are just as bad (if not worse) even now.

Sample this from the article on Suzette (link available later within this post), for the contribution of the police in her (and surely, many others') case:

"Later, as they listened to her horrific story, the policeman asked one another if they too were going to go for a drink that night. Then they laughed, looking lewdly at Suzette; one of them said, “Who knows, we could get lucky tonight.”

“I had seen this happen in Hindi movies. Trust me,” says Suzette, “reality is much worse.”

Can there be anything worse than having cheap fun at the expense of an already troubled soul? That too, by those who are supposed to be our custodians?

And it's not just the police for that matter: it's everywhere.
It's all of us who need to share the blame.

Here's the 'society' doing its bit:

"Every day brought fresh ‘stories’, new horrors. Bengali society wanted an explanation for why that ‘Park Street woman’ had been drinking, or why she had gone out late, or why she had agreed to take a lift from a stranger – as if doing any of those things meant giving all the men of Kolkata permission to rape her.

In gossip-loving Calcutta, people quickly found out who she was. Some heard, others guessed based on her TV silhouettes. From potential landlords to job interviewers, nobody wanted anything to do with the Park Street Rape Victim.

“It wasn't just me who suffered,” recalls Suzette. “It was my sister, my brother, my dad who were discriminated against because of me.”

When her sister was looking for a job at another call centre they told her, “We know you are the sister of that rape victim. We don’t want to be associated with the Park Street case in any way.”

Leave aside the rapists, for a moment. I wonder if we are any different from those perverts who committed the act for a duration of time and left.

We - from the police to all around us, as a society - through such attitudes as mentioned above, not only maim the victims but even the family of the victim(s), for the rest of their lives!
Now, who is the bigger perpetrator?
Are we ourselves not just as culpable, if not more, than the rapists?
Are we not guilty of an even bigger sin than the rapists?

Unfortunately, changing everyone's attitude, reaction and behavior is not in our hands.

What, for sure, is in our hands, is our actions - both pre-emptive as well as (God forbid, but if befalls), reactive.

I strongly urge everyone to read these two must-reads - which are factual, informative, helpful and poignant - all rolled together.
The first article talks about the courage of 'victims' such as Ms. Suzette and Ms. Bilkis Bano, and also of Ms. Santasree Chaudhari - the kind of person this world dearly needs more of.

The second one is about the steps and actions that every woman (and all her family members, friends, well-wishers) must know and help with, if at all (God forbid!) things some to such a pass.


Do read and share.

Hopefully, the actions that we take, the courage, perseverance, help (in any which way) and gumption we provide for all such 'victims' - will stand all of us in good stead., and lead to a better India.

Champion of Champions!!

There was a time when I used to wonder what Ricky Ponting would want to achieve.
After all, he had won the World Cup (including hitting a defining knock in its Final in 2003), been a leader of the undisputed Numero Uno team in Test Cricket, and had also laid his hands on the Twenty20 World Cup.

These World-conquering were things that even an Indian demi-god who had Sachin Ramesh as his first and middle names, had only aspired to achieve, but never could (till then).

However, there was one thing that even Ponting had failed to do: win the Champions Trophy.

Cut to circa 2013:

Happy Days are here again! (Pic Courtesy: Cricinfo)

At the post-match presentation after India won the Champions Trophy, Nasser Hussain asked MSD about what else he thought was left for him to achieve, Dhoni could only smile and offer a platitude about every match being crucial and that his focus was only on the next match that he'd play.

Well, he could surely have answered Nasser's question with Ranji Trophy as his answer!
For, there is now absolutely no world tourney whose trophy does not adorn his cabinet. He has shouldered the onerous task of being the captain of the country where fans are not only the most demanding, most adulatory, and most idolizing, but also the most fickle.

It is no mean feat to achieve World # 1 ranking in Tests, be a World Cup winner in both ODIs and T20, and also be a Champion of Champions, just by itself - simply because no one else (including Ponting) has ever achieved it, with the best of teams too.
Add to this, the fact that he has done so with both experienced personnel (read legends) in his team (WC 2011 and Test # 1), as well as a fledgling, new unit with loads of youngsters (T20 and Champions Trophy).
And then, there is also the small matter of winning the IPL as well as the Champions League trophies too.

Oh, and before I forget, the guy bats and keeps too, with aplomb and adeptness.
Sure, he is not perfect, has his weaknesses (defensive captaincy in Tests, not as dangerous a batsman outside of the subcontinent against quality attacks) but then who ever was or will be?!

The ever-loyal, enthusiastic and passionate Indian cricket fan has had a tough time of late - on the field due to the 0-8 drubbings in England and Australia, and even worse, losing the Test series to England on home soil, and off-field due to the IPL and fixing shenanigans.

This win is all the more special, therefore, in that it might be some sort of a salve for the disillusioned fans who have had little to celebrate

Hopefully, the good times are here to stay now, much longer than ever before...Three Cheers MS, India, and Indian cricket! More power to thee!!!